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The short answer is yes, shrimp keeping does make you a better person.
"How so?" You may ask.
Well, we've done some surveys of shrimp keepers to compare their empathy, charitability, and career success to the average person. In this, we found shrimp keepers were approximately 200% more empathetic, 518% more charitable, and made way more bank than average. This can clearly be attributed to their affinity to shrimp keeping because, when asked whether participants liked shrimp keeping, those who were better said "HELL YEAH BROTHER!" (direct quote), while those who weren't better said, "What's that? Like the shrimp you eat?". Clearly low IQ.
Thank you for reading about the science. We'll see you on the TED Talk stage soon. Also, thanks for buying the book and taking the time to check sources. We pride ourselves on accuracy and appreciate the readers who take the time to verify information!
Pssst... Want to learn everything you need to know to have happy and healthy freshwater shrimp? We've got you covered with clear, concise, and fun information in every lesson of The Shrimp School!
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